I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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