shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
