he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
