somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
