These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
