Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
