he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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