Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
