Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
