uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
