In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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