I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
