One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
