If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize