How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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