i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
