And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
