There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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