Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
