Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
