We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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