I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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