And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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