i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
