I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
