Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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