at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
