fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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