could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
