Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
