Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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