shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
