It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize