I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
