You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
