This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
