if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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