i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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