She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
