I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize