Plan B is the new Plan A
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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