So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
