yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
