when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Found the puke drawer
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Randomize
