listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize