We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
