so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
