You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
