I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize