I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
