Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
