Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
