he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
