So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my being single is dangerous.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think my moral compass just broke
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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