he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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