i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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