dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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