It's just like the Real World with babies
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
