You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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