yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize