some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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