I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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