I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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