I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
